A reminder on how to be in space with others

Take small conscious breaths
Wear a shirt
If it has buttons, be mindful of how many are undone and which
Try not to drink too quickly
If drinking alcohol, this is especially crucial
When sharing a thought or opinion, couch your words in modesty
Others may question your sincerity, which is valid
Avoid asking probing questions
At risk of inciting argument
Or worse, attraction

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if i were (on a doomed relationship II)

if i were:

meaner, i could say
“you brought this on yourself”
stronger, it might be
“let’s see if we can work this out”

but, i’m not, so i don’t
and i see how it pains you
that i am not all there
in those moments of intimacy

and, if i were to say:
“i can’t do this”
the expression on your face
would rip at my conscience

already a thing pieced together
haphazardly

so, maybe, in fact
i’m meaner than i thought,
sickeningly strong when
toying with your heart

didn’t I forget?

there was something
seated in the back of my mind as I closed the door
calling, you’re going to forget

I always do this, my ritual

keys, ok
coat, yes
mask, always—

satisfied I turn the key
click and away I hurry out lest I
remember what
I did

forget

self portrait in progress, 1/xx

Sometimes I'm the person who looks like that person you like
Sometimes I'm that person who looks like the person you like
Sometimes I'm the person you like who looks like that person
Sometimes I'm like the person you like

But I'll never be that person

on obsession

one more minute