if i were (on a doomed relationship II)

if i were:

meaner, i could say
“you brought this on yourself”
stronger, it might be
“let’s see if we can work this out”

but, i’m not, so i don’t
and i see how it pains you
that i am not all there
in those moments of intimacy

and, if i were to say:
“i can’t do this”
the expression on your face
would rip at my conscience

already a thing pieced together
haphazardly

so, maybe, in fact
i’m meaner than i thought,
sickeningly strong when
toying with your heart

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